Oh, sweet divine predicament…
So i didn’t post lastnight, but my day wasn’t too exciting. This whole winter break i’m trying not to do so many things involving money so i can save up for bigger things happening in the next couple of months. I’m bored now of course not doing anything, but i will be happy when i have alot of money in the spring. Last night i watched Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist again, i love that movie. i saw it in the movies with my good friend adam, i miss that day. Deffinetly make it a priority to sit down and watch the movie haha.
well today i’m probably not doing much again, unfortunetly its snowing. I hate ny for cold weather and snow. spring please come now! i’m going to watch movies and stuff my face today. real good.
Oh! and here is another old posting i’m going to share with you.. *remember these are very naive thoughts i had when writing these so bear with me*
This was written May 16, 2007
well today im not really in a “i hate life” kind of mood, im alright. not many thoughts today other than something i wanted to write yesterday but decided to rant on about something else. anyways what i was going to say is in a lot of love movies, the relationship usually always comes out perfect and everything is pretty much perfect. why cant it be like that in real life? i know im young and im talking about love but i really hope i can find soemone soneday when im older who is perfect. somebody who will appreciate me and treat me like a princessm not talking about buying me stuff. i just want to be their everything. i want to be romantic and have a sexual relationship when im older of course. but i want to say i do analyze alot of things as im young, maybe this will help me in the future. but what i mean is i look at the small and simple things people are doing, how they interact, movements, facial expressions and it all comes together. theres more to it, but so far thats what ive seen. i dont know the true meaning of love and i dont think i will anytime soon, one day i will and i;ll be able to know first hand and see if it really is “magical” like people and things say. ive seen kids my age say there in love or they have been, i dont think most of them know the true meaning of love or maybe some do, afterall i dont. ive never loved a guy before, ive cared very much for one person, but thats it. with this person i had very strong feelings and i cryed over someone i didnt even officailly have, but it just affected me so much,this one person made me so emotional. and yet i still find him completly amazing, for some reason, i really dont know. i dont like him anymore though, i do care for him and im sure id have quite a bit of jeaulosy in me if there was another girl, but as for now things are fine. love is a hard concept to understand, its full of obstacles and sacrifises, but in my life when i find that special person, i’ll risk it all, and take the fall. so far to me, its love.
